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 Fleece thong wearin, Buntzen Lurkin, mystic poet mountain man and international spokesman of the friends of the white squirrel society
Port Moody, B.C.
Canada
5891 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2006 : 3:21 PM
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Mick the board will take this matter under review.
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"No Trail is Long with Good Company".
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 Best grilled cheese maker ever
Whitehorse, YUKON
Canada
2142 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2006 : 5:12 PM
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Great read so far Mick!
The saga continues... |
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
13022 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 1:51 PM
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CHAPTER EIGHT......... JUST "GLAD " TO BE ALIVE
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Thanks Darren, and soon you'll know the ....Rest....of the story 
For now Waldo's accomplishments in the mountains could speak for themselves, yet there were some nagging fears undealt with. One thing we all fear in the mountains is an avalanche, and for good reason.
Naturally, Don felt compelled to ready himself for such a situation. He'd used good judgement in the past, but dedicated himself to learning the science of snow, so to speak.
What's more, he needed to do it on a budget, not easy these days
He started by measuring slope angle  (Sharpie not included)
Add to that a sturdy coil of yellow poly, and, uhhhh... what's that ?
Why it's GREENhorn with two trusty GREEN garbage bags for use as flotation devices. I'm guessing 26 x 36. I'm hoping they were at least Glad brand bags. I think we all remember what happened on those commercials when they used bargain brand trash bags. Ugghhh, don't even wanna think about it, all that smelly, messy trash splattered all over the......
Wait, yeah, OK, I'll get back to the tale of intrigue
Important to note that these bags could also double as raingear or something to hold all the litter, you know... So,if you were a (Black)fly on the wall, maybe his shopping trip might have gone something like this......
"Hmmm....too small, not real airtight, but great for ham sandwiches. "
"Still too small, but OK for hot dog rolls maybe..."
"Kitchen size too small to provide adequate flotation unless I was sixty pounds or less, so no go."
"Hmmm..Force Flex. I like the sound of that, but kinda pricey ." 
"Now these are the classics : tough, sturdy, airtight, and no twist ties!!! I'm good to go...."
Good to go ? Well yes, but where ?
The answer, of course, was Mt. Harvey, where he walked "Cornice Alley" on Harvey Ridge, deciding, as I would a week later, to turn back below the summit. Tough trek, tough hombre 
 
So once again, he'd taken a quantum leap forward, availing himself of the latest mountain technology. Better still, he'd never have one of those cheap garbage bags break before he got it to the curb
What will the next golden moment hold ?
Tune in next time, same Bat station, same Bat channel...
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Edited by - mick range on 03/28/2006 3:59 PM |
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map hatin', coffee perc totin', garbage collectin', backpacking, action hero wannabe, who loves to hide out in Garibaldi park and will have his scouts sing if you keep him awake at night
2462 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 2:25 PM
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This just gets funnier and funnier each time.
Thanks for the honourable mention, Mick.
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www.shiftlessbum.com |
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Fleece thong wearin, Buntzen Lurkin, mystic poet mountain man and international spokesman of the friends of the white squirrel society
Port Moody, B.C.
Canada
5891 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 3:06 PM
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| I'm starting to get worried! I wonder if he saw my post and went to Garibaldi Pk. to see if in fact steam was coming out. We have not heard from Don and there is still a lot of snow up there. |
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Alberta-based choss climbin', flame throwin', rappel lovin', ass talkin' hater who doesn't like "Gumby" for a descriptor
6302 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 4:10 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jeffster
That's gota be the funniest CT moment ever. Even funnier were the climbers that took the bait.
I don't recall anyone taking that bait...do you have a link to it? I can't find it. |
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 | Dru
Mountain Grammar Police
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Sardonic sandbagging scoundrel, Cascade Climbers lobotomized spraymeister, space blanket flyer, new millennium vulgarian betaboy and friend to all squids
Climbing, a mountain
Canada
∞ Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 4:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by time2clmb
quote:
Originally posted by Jeffster
That's gota be the funniest CT moment ever. Even funnier were the climbers that took the bait.
I don't recall anyone taking that bait...do you have a link to it? I can't find it.
I would have thought you would recall STRONGLY what the hook tasted like. |
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double-double seeking, snow-chasing, short-cutting, vertical feet collector
4523 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 4:29 PM
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I LOVE this series!
Mick, you are a story-telling marvel.
There's lots and lots of yellow rope in this photo (chapter 7)
Looking forward to Capter Nine in this exciting series -- CWall |
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adventure seeking, peak-bagging, high-enduring, strong and silent forest gnome
N49°09', W122°47'
Canada
3819 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 4:40 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Dru
quote:
Originally posted by time2clmb
quote:
Originally posted by Jeffster
That's gota be the funniest CT moment ever. Even funnier were the climbers that took the bait.
I don't recall anyone taking that bait...do you have a link to it? I can't find it.
I would have thought you would recall STRONGLY what the hook tasted like.
LOL
Lovin' it, Mick!  |
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
13022 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 5:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by seawallrunner
I LOVE this series!
Mick, you are a story-telling marvel.
There's lots and lots of yellow rope in this photo (chapter 7)
Looking forward to Chapter Nine in this exciting series -- CWall
Thanks V
I wondered how he got the rope so high up in the trees  Plus, the thickness must be like one inch- he must have needed a thousand pound spool of the stuff |
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
13022 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2006 : 5:32 PM
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I saved this from one of Jimbo's posts. Clever stuff, Jimbo
Suppose you baited the hook with an "O' Henry " bar,Gnomey, whaddaya think you might catch ? |
Edited by - mick range on 03/28/2006 5:33 PM |
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
13022 Posts |
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Simpson quoting tree hunter and canyon rapping rockhound who longs for the return of his trapped Toyota
Salt Lake City, UT
USA
2268 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2006 : 08:24 AM
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| ROTFLMAO! Mick, you are out of control (that's enough shandy for you, buddy). |
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Alberta-based choss climbin', flame throwin', rappel lovin', ass talkin' hater who doesn't like "Gumby" for a descriptor
6302 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2006 : 08:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Dru
quote:
Originally posted by time2clmb
quote:
Originally posted by Jeffster
That's gota be the funniest CT moment ever. Even funnier were the climbers that took the bait.
I don't recall anyone taking that bait...do you have a link to it? I can't find it.
I would have thought you would recall STRONGLY what the hook tasted like.
Didn't fall for the pic. "Lame attempt at a troll" or some thing like that. I must admit he did get me on the rest though lol. |
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| Dru
Mountain Grammar Police
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Sardonic sandbagging scoundrel, Cascade Climbers lobotomized spraymeister, space blanket flyer, new millennium vulgarian betaboy and friend to all squids
Climbing, a mountain
Canada
∞ Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2006 : 08:27 AM
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| It's not a question of "falling for the troll" kman. If you see a Santa Claus in the mall at Christmas time, do you go up to him and pull his beard off so you can prove you didn't fall for that either? |
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
13022 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2006 : 3:03 PM
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CHAPTER NINE........TURNIN' UP THE HEAT !!!
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When last we left our hero, he was planning even more audacious exploits- ones that would make his past feats pale in comparison. This would require intense mental preparation and focus that would test his mettle like nothing ever had before.( You get the idea )
Soon he recalled a tale Grachman had so eloquently told him some years ago.......
Cousin Cliff had told him of a foggy day on Panorama Ridge, where he'd come to the realization that there was a quest for him, and him alone. He had decided that he must become an alpha male, and that hiking would be the vehicle that got him there....
To bring forth the special moment Cliff needed to have an out of body experience, so he borrowed an idea from our native peoples. He set out to build his own "sweat lodge", so to speak, but since budget was again an issue, there'd be a few corners he'd have to cut in order to attain spiritual nirvana.
This is a sweat lodge....
  
And, ummm, this is not
The Grachman setup was, wellllll, a little different. The idea was to climb into a space blanket, then turn the heat in the house way, way up while Mom was out playing bingo.
( Plan B was to go for a spin in a laundromat dryer )
Then, in the delirium of the searing heat, he hoped for that life changing revelation as the world melted away. Soon Cliff descended into a spinning world of hallucination, laughing and ranting hysterically as the images floated by. Muuuuuaaaahahahaha 
"Shaggy ."
"Shaggy again"
"Larry and Willy....I hate Larry and Willy !!" 
" BCClimber, what're you doing here ?"
" Jeffster ? Jeff ? Don't go, I need to know how to spell Aconcagua "
"But which one is Anon E. Moose ? "
"Wow, a lakehunter girl "
"Cool, the owner of JACK FM ! Maybe I can snag Vijay's job or get rid of Larry and Willy ."
"Hee heee heeeee, I'm in Hollywood, darlings !"
"OMG, I'm Howard Hughes"
Then ,as he swirled into an abyss of self torment, came the profound moment. An esteemed swami had flown above a special mountain amidst this scramble of dreams.
That swami was, of course, the Spraymeister Dru, and the mountain ? None other than Bishop    
Cliff experienced an emotional kaleidoscope. "Yes, that's it !!"
Some time later he awoke, remembering the Spraymeister, the mountain, a crazed rock climber, and a pop singer...
  
And so it was that Grachman came to see his calling, but what did that all mean to Don ?
He didn't even own a space blanket,let alone a sweat lodge, and who, or what, was the Spraymeister anyway ? How could he draw on Cliff's struggles to prepare for his own epic battles ? "I know I'm not going to ask that Range idiot, I'm tired of listening to him ", he mused.
So, it was instead off to the library, where it was time to do some more research
But first he had to somehow get that Michael Jackson song out of his head, and the sooner the better
"Asta la vista ." |
Edited by - mick range on 04/05/2006 12:33 PM |
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Peak bagging, bushwhacking, zamboni driving, snowshoeing, self portrait artist, and speed demon who loves to hang out on Mt. Seymour
3995 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2006 : 8:41 PM
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| A very entertaining read Mick. Grach/Gimp/Horn should be proud to have a person like you championing his causes. Might make him think his elite or something though.... |
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
13022 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2006 : 8:50 PM
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Keeping warm at the hot dog cart |
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| Dru
Mountain Grammar Police
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Sardonic sandbagging scoundrel, Cascade Climbers lobotomized spraymeister, space blanket flyer, new millennium vulgarian betaboy and friend to all squids
Climbing, a mountain
Canada
∞ Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2006 : 8:56 PM
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
13022 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2006 : 9:10 PM
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| Sweet, that's an awesome fur coat |
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Where's Waldo Kitty?Extra!Extra!Read all about it!
