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 Utah's canyon trekking,deck chair packing desert explorer who dreams of visiting Canada someday
3988 Posts |
Posted - 05/17/2012 : 9:45 PM
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A hiker walks into a bar with a pair of Jumper Cables around his neck and the bartender says
Don't you go startin' anything in here....
hikers.....sheesh! |
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Satirical photoshop junkie who frolics in the mountains of the Chilliwack River Valley
Chilliwack, BC
Canada
6908 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 02:59 AM
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Ba dum pshhhh!  |
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 Big pack hiker who sleeps with bears in tent and falls on slippery logs
Langley, BC
Canada
7647 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 06:26 AM
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LOL  |
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Hope, BC
Canada
7095 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 07:45 AM
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So then the hiker replies...
"I'm just here to boost everyones spirits!" |
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| piika
Intermediate Member
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Burnaby, BC
Canada
731 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 08:21 AM
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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and..............................coke please."
Bartender looks up at the bear and says, "Sure, but why the big pause?" |
Edited by - piika on 05/18/2012 08:35 AM |
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Satirical photoshop junkie who frolics in the mountains of the Chilliwack River Valley
Chilliwack, BC
Canada
6908 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 08:43 AM
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| A piece of string walks into a bar. Bartender says " We dont serve string!" String walks out, ties homself a loop and combs his head so sll the fibres are sticking out. String walks back into the bar and sits down. Bartender says "Hey arent you the string I just kicked out of here a few minutes ago?" The string says, "No Im a frayed knot!" |
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Satirical photoshop junkie who frolics in the mountains of the Chilliwack River Valley
Chilliwack, BC
Canada
6908 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 08:49 AM
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| An Australian bear walks into a bar. Bartender says to the bear, "Im sorry but we cant serve you as you don't meet our criteria". The bear replies, "But I have all the Koalafications!" |
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Qualicum Beach, BC
Canada
1305 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 09:04 AM
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| A seal goes into a bar and asks for a whiskey. Bartender says, "What kind?" Seal replies, "anything except Canadian Club!" |
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Jasper, ab
Canada
1028 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 10:35 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by prother
A seal goes into a bar and asks for a whiskey. Bartender says, "What kind?" Seal replies, "anything except Canadian Club!"
That's hilarious. Almost blew some coffee out of my nose |
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Hope, BC
Canada
7095 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 11:27 AM
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A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."
Two vegetarians walk into a bar and order drinks. Pretty soon they start arguing loudly about beans, really, and the bartender steps into settle it. "Heh," he says, "I've got no beef with either of you! Just soy long as neither of you hold a grudge, why don't you just end it now since there's not much at steak?" They both agreed and left, saying "Lettuce meat again next week over brunch."
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here, you know." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand." |
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Outdoors addicted flyfishing, skiing, snowshoeing, hiking car crooner and resident motormouth
Da'Wack, BC
Canada
5372 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 12:46 PM
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Hiker walks into a bar and pulls a tiny grand piano out of his pack. Then he pulls out a little guy who sits down and begins to play. "Where'd ya get that?" bartender asks. "I found a magic bottle; you rub it and get a wish," hiker replies. Hiker agrees to let bartender try it, and pulls a grungy old fuel bottle from his pack. Bartender rubs it, and the room fills up with ducks, flying everywhere.
"I didn't wish for a million 'ducks'," says bartender.
"So, did you think I wished for a ten-inch pianist?" responds the hiker. |
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High River, (just south of Calgary eh!), Alberta
Canada
1700 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 12:58 PM
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Two guys are backpacking together and at the end of they day they are changing clothes getting ready to turn in and buddy looks over and says
"What the hell? You're wearing pantyhose... why on earth would you do that?"
"Well, they keep my legs warm"
"How long have you been doing that?"
"Ever since my wife found them in my pack." |
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Outdoors addicted flyfishing, skiing, snowshoeing, hiking car crooner and resident motormouth
Da'Wack, BC
Canada
5372 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 1:19 PM
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| Backpacker walks into a bar in a remote Alaskan town. She hears people yell out numbers (#23!, #56, etc.) and then everyone laughs. She asks the guy next to her what's going on, and he says the jokes have been told so many times, people just yell out their numbers instead of retelling them. So she yells out #27! but nobody laughs - dead silence. The bartender turns around shakes his head and says...."Some people can tell a joke, and some people can't." |
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Utah's canyon trekking,deck chair packing desert explorer who dreams of visiting Canada someday
3988 Posts |
Posted - 05/18/2012 : 8:10 PM
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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender looks at the horse and says:
"hey buddy, why the long face?"
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9 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 7:29 PM
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A pirate walks into the bar and says "Aaarggh, give me a drink of rum!" The bartender says "What is that steering wheel doing down the front of your pants?"
The pirate says..."Yaaarrgh, It drives me nuts!!" |
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9 Posts |
Posted - 06/21/2012 : 7:34 PM
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Why are pirates so angry?
Cuz they Aaaargh!! |
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322 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2012 : 9:12 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by exscape
Backpacker walks into a bar in a remote Alaskan town. She hears people yell out numbers (#23!, #56, etc.) and then everyone laughs. She asks the guy next to her what's going on, and he says the jokes have been told so many times, people just yell out their numbers instead of retelling them. So she yells out #27! but nobody laughs - dead silence. The bartender turns around shakes his head and says...."Some people can tell a joke, and some people can't."
Then the backpacker decides to try again- and yells out "#38!". Much to her amazement, the room erupts in uncontrollable laughter. When she asks why #38 went over so well, her neighbour replies "we've never heard that one before!". |
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Mysterious, pop can stove stashin', gps totin', overnighter virgin, wannabe tentmaker and foul weather wuss who rides a thumper to the trailhead with wonderdog Max to hike the Chilliwack Valley
Chwk
Canada
4908 Posts |
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Coffee swillin', wine lovin', Owl fearin' Andie McDowell stunt double, who sports retro gear
Vancouver, BC
5465 Posts |
Posted - 09/19/2012 : 10:23 PM
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| A mushroom goes into a bar, sees a pretty girl, and begins chatting her up. She seems friendly and flirtatious, so he asks her if she'd like to go home with him. She replies coldly, "no thank you." The mushroom says, "Aw, come on, why not? I'm a fun-gi..." |
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delta, bc
Canada
647 Posts |
Posted - 09/20/2012 : 5:22 PM
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| Eggs, hashed browns, ham and toast walk into a bar - "Get out", yells the bartender, "we don't serve breakfast here!" |
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God fearin' music packin' animal BBQin' funny trip reportin'.... cheese lovin' MH lover who skinny dips in Ling secret lakes
Somewhere between pomp & circumstance, British Columbia
Canada
1401 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2012 : 01:00 AM
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A group of fonts walk into a bar. ‘Get out of my pub!’ shouts the barman. ‘We don’t serve your type in here.’
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HIker walks into a bar....
