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North Vancouver, BC
Canada
414 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 7:38 PM
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Our food calls these days the weekend. I haven't quite grasped the meaning of this yet, but I do know that this time is best for feasting. Our Great Mother of the Woods built our homes on these grounds and filled them with wonderful traps for these sacks of juicy blood. There are three lakes for us to grow and prosper in and three lakes of beauty irresistible to our food.
These creatures first approach our home in these big cages that shelter them from us and propel them at great velocities. When they leave their cages, my cronies and I like to charge immediately. We always catch them unprepared and we get our fill.
This day, a blue car arrived with only two sacks of blood. They're of the skinnier variety than what we're used to here at the lower lake, but I could smell their sweet blood from far away. It was irresistible...so sweet and inviting. I gathered my troops and charged. One of them ran towards the house of the flies so I gave chase. Mmm, the smell was good. I knew this one would be tasty. I caught up to him and got him on his elbow. The juice was delicious. Couldn't get much more since he started moving again. I knew I had to follow this one along for the day.
He returned to his moving cage and took out this bottle and started spraying himself and his mate. I was stunned. They just vanished from our sight and even their sweet smell was gone. I decided to investigate all the same. And then I saw it. His forehead was still visible. I could still follow this one. Relieved I hovered around and started giving chase as he was going up the hill. There were a few other sacks of blood on the way, but their blood wasn't the sweet kind so I stayed with my target. They headed up the mountain slowly enough so it wasn't a very tiring chase.
While they took a break, I sent some of my buddies to swarm around my target to try to find his mate. She seemed quite tasty too but invisible still. Winds and my fallen comrades were indication she was there. Still, I decided to get another gulp from the male one so I approached from above and BAM. I crashed into him. Still invisible on some parts I couldn't tell quite where he was. Shaken but not too stirred I made a larger arc and landed on his forehead. I waited to make sure he doesn't feel me and then I did it. Stuck my needle in this big bulging pulsing vein. Ahhh...the taste. So intoxicatingly delicious. I was in heaven. Such delightful tastes I haven't had in all my days.
With my belly full I just sat on his back while he continued his journey up the mountain. I figured visiting my cousins from the upper lake would be nice, so I stayed for the journey. They eventually reached the lake and set up camp on the peninsula. Strangely enough none of the other sacks of blood took this spot. This location is the ultimate trap. Away from all neighboring tents, surrounded by water, perfect place for them to put up their shelter and stare at the great white cold while we feast.
My cousins finally showed up and we had a nice reunion. We traded stories and watched our food as they slowly became visible again. My cousins approached and managed to sneak a few bites. They were in agreement that the taste of these two was unmatched. They went and called the rest of the family over while I watched the female getting the invisibility spray out and realizing with horror that it had run out. Hehehe, no more hide and seek. Now I can eat them at my leisure.
I went to get a bite of the male when all of a sudden he caught up speed and started running up the mountain. I gave chase as far as I could but gave up shortly. He seemed to keep going up to the cold land I cannot fly in. He approached the great white cold. I returned down to his shelter where my whole family was on the attack. A few of my less experienced cousins got hit by the female...sad to see them go...but when you have millions of cousins, it's hard to tell who they were precisely. Some of our buddies the black flies decided to join the fun too and a few other fliers I don't quite get along with were there too.
I was getting nervous that all this attacking may scare our prey away and once the male returned my suspicions were confirmed. They both hid inside their shelter. No more food for the night so I went to sleep on their shelter enjoying some of the droplets of water falling from the sky.
I awoke early in the morning to find my cousins feasting on my food as the sacks were quickly packing up to go. It was as I feared, the relentless attack scared them away. They were already wearing armor and only few of the feeding spots were left open. Good enough though, so I went for the male and carefully landed on his thumb, and drew a pint of blood. Oh ecstasy how good you taste! That bite was enough to last me quite a while...ohhh...how tasty.
The sacks of blood ran down the mountain. I gave chase with millions of my friends and family. They were caught again and again, and they took out a small fraction of us but such good taste is worth dying for. They got back to their blue cage and I quickly followed them in. They changed their armor while hiding from us in their cage. I still managed to sneak a big gulp from under his knee. I flew up and then he saw me! I quickly flew for the exit but BAM...the exit was blocked by some invisible barrier. His hand was fast approaching! I was panicking! I flew left! BOOM! His hand hit the barrier barely missing me. Ah, I escaped, my belly so full I am content. OH NO! SPLAT!
See the Photos
Edit: Fixed quotes... |
Edited by - cdanes on 07/10/2006 1:14 PM
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 Super botonist, hippie chick who cuddles thistles with glee
Langley, BC
Canada
1502 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 8:06 PM
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Fantastic trip report!!! I love it!!  |
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Grouse Grinding, GPS carrying, lawn chair packing, bike riding North Shore tech addict who stares at Crown Mountain from his office window all day
North Vancouver
Canada
1841 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 8:18 PM
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Well done, that's effin hilarious!  |
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 Coffee swillin', wine lovin', Owl fearin' Andie McDowell stunt double, who sports retro gear
Vancouver, BC
4826 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 8:19 PM
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| Hee hee...you got what you deserved. I met a zillion of your sea-farin' cousins last weekend on the sand neck at Cape Scott. |
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Trail running, bike hucking, fast packing, beer drinking collector of pine cones on a day pass
AKA
Dances with Trees
Forest Gnome Cabin
Canada
10537 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 8:51 PM
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Haha, it's officially bug season, allright   |
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Manitoba's misadventurin' bushwhackin', dog sloggin', dehydratin', beer drinkin' biggie - who's eager to peak bag Mt Currie in a dress
Squamish
4663 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 8:51 PM
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Great report!
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new Westminster, bc
Canada
365 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2006 : 9:00 PM
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Loved it. Very funny!!!
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Nature is my inspiration |
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Cycling guru, Wig wearing, James Bond wannabe, answers to the call of "Eurobabe"
Langley
Canada
1230 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 08:22 AM
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Bloody Marvelous!
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"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're headed."
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map hatin', coffee perc totin', garbage collectin', backpacking, action hero wannabe, who loves to hide out in Garibaldi park and will have his scouts sing if you keep him awake at night
Vancouver, BC
Canada
2182 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 08:29 AM
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Great Trip Report, very funny and very creative!
Thanks for the bird's....uhmmm....bug's eye view of your trip this weekend...heh. |
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Vancouver, BC
Canada
1066 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 08:43 AM
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The scariest TR i've ever read! Glad it was a good ending and not one where you know there's gonna be a sequel... i'm hoping to go up there still....
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The tougher the climb, the better the food tastes. -Lupin- |
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North Vancouver, BC
Canada
414 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 09:14 AM
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| Thanks everyone. It actually was a very nice trip. We just weren't prepared for the amount of deet we needed... |
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Herbal tea drinkin, tree huggin, view seeking, tortoise paced, ultralite wannabe
Vancouver, BC
Canada
2748 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 09:44 AM
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The best report posted this weekend, Cris !! Sounds like you and Red were swarmed. I trust the lakes were worth it   |
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North Vancouver, BC
Canada
414 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 10:00 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Scrambler
The best report posted this weekend, Cris !! Sounds like you and Red were swarmed. I trust the lakes were worth it
Thanks Rich. The lakes were totally worth it yes. I think I sat on the edge of the lake staring for hours and I still wasn't getting bored...a bit of a breeze off the glaciers gave me a little peace from the buggers.
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Chilliwack, BC
Canada
238 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 10:22 AM
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Awsome pics, I am on my way up there on Saturday, Do you have any advice for me? What is the trail like? Are you allowed fires?
Thanks a lot. |
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Vancouver, BC
Canada
990 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 10:32 AM
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The place was bug free a few weeks ago
Glad you had a good trip anyway.
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North Vancouver, BC
Canada
414 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 10:46 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by ZeRoDeAd
Awsome pics, I am on my way up there on Saturday, Do you have any advice for me? What is the trail like? Are you allowed fires?
Thanks a lot.
Trail is quite nice and easy. Well for the most part. There is a section of boulders you have to be careful on but other than that it's not too bad. It can take about 2-3 hours to get to the campground area. No fires allowed. There's also a bear vault where you're supposed to store your food, so no need to bring anything to hang your food off of. Oh, and obviously, bring lots of deet. |
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Vancouver, B.C.
Canada
160 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 11:03 AM
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That was great, nice to get a 'different' perspective on camping.
BC Tripper
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It's always an adventure with me in tow. |
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| deeks
Intermediate Member
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exiled, ON
Canada
615 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 12:34 PM
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| Hmmm, guess I should be ready to donate blood when I'm there next weekend. Do you server up orange juice & cookies like Blood Services does? |
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Richmond, BC
Canada
845 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 12:37 PM
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| great TR |
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Happy go lucky, plaid wearin, postholin, safeway gaitor sportin, old-school film shootin, giver of many regards
MISSION, B.C.
Canada
7826 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 12:40 PM
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You get AAA+ for literary creativity. This is worthy of a children's book warning beware of the nasty bugaboos out there.
Regards, |
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canine loving, machete-toting bushwhacking lake seeker, Indiana Jones hat-wearing off-road 4x4 guru
Surrey Hole, BC
Canada
4726 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 1:22 PM
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| Looks like everyone is experiencing swarms of attackers.Funny T/R |
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Diary of a Mosquito - Joffre Lakes July 8-9
